The Kumo Show
by Kumo66
Summary: Kumo shall "interview" some of the KHR characters for fun and she will try her best not to annoy, humiliate, or frustrate any of the characters :D and I apologize if this is crappy because I suck at stuff like this
1. Hibari and Mukuro

Kumo: Hi there~! This is the Kumo Show! I shall try my best and not annoy, humiliate, or frustrate any of my friends here! Oh, hi pineapplehead!

Mukuro: kufuf-

-THWACK-

Mukuro: -ignores the pain with a smile- Where. Did. That. Come. From?

Kumo: ah, sorry! The pineapple I was holding flew out of my hands somehow -smiles innocently-

Mukuro: -twitch- anyway, so why did you call me over?  
Kumo: oh, just to ask a few questions here and there~ so Mukuro, do you really do this? -points to a video of mukuro whipping his hair back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth...-

Mukuro: -smiles calmly- no.

Kumo: really? -pouts- but I had a security camera in your room and it took a video of you doing this while you sing along to the song in front of the mirror!

Mukuro: -still smiling calmly- oh? Now when did you-

Kaminari: oh hey there Kumo! So pineapple-chan is here, huh?  
Mukuro: my name is NOT pineapp-

Kumo: yep! Did you bring over skylark-chan?

Kaminari: -nods head- but I had to set Hibird on fire first before he agreed to come here, so now here he is~

Hibari: -walks in the room while radiating an angry aura- so what do you want, herbivores?

Kumo: we want your body :D

Hibari: what the f-

Kaminari: -covers hibari's mouth- no cussing, since we don't have censors right now!

Kumo: sooo since we have pineapple-fairy and skylark-chan here, I'll give them plenty of non-humiliating questions! -points at a picture with tyl hibari and current hibari kissing each other- do you really love yourself that much to go make out with yourself when visiting the future?

Hibari: -no response-

Kumo: -pokes hibari- at least say something!

Hibari: -still no response except for glaring at that picture-

Kaminari: very well -whips out a knife and cuts open the front of his shirt-

Fangirls: KYAAAAAAAAAAA~~~ Hibari-sama's sexy abs!

Kumo: -snickers- if you don't say anything then I'll have Kami-kun keep doing this until you have no clothes left~

Hibari: -murderous aura is growing- you herbivores... I'll bite you to death!

Kumo: ooohhh I'm so scared!

Mukuro: kufufu~

Kaminari: -whips out identical tonfa- I bet I can bite better than you!

Hibari: bring it! -charges at kaminari-

Kumo: wait wait wait! -knocks hibari into the room next door- I cant have fighting going on over here!

Kaminari: umm... do you even know what's in that room?

Kumo: ….. -locks the door- he needs some disciplining himself, so it's fine

-everyone ignores the thumping and banging and groans and watnot in that room-

Kumo: -cough- anyway, let's continue

-To Be Continued :D-

**Please message me if you think this is good, and please give me tips ^_^ because Im still an amateur at this~!**


	2. Mukuro and Tsuna

Kumo: sooo since Skylark-chan won't be here for a while, I need someone else...

Kaminari: oh, I know! Be right back! -runs out of the room-

Kumo: Rokudo Mukuro Pineapplehead! What in the world are you doing?

Mukuro: uumm... nothing? -walks away from the door-

Kumo: are you really that perverted to go and take a peek in that room?

Mukuro: kufufu~ of course not

Kumo: then what were you going to do? Cuz you already know that you're not supposed to let him out yet!

Mukuro: I was gonna let him out...

Kumo: you're lying! -pulls out a lying detector- see?

Mukuro: I was n-

Kaminari: Look who I caught!

Tsuna: mmmph! -tied in ropes and muffled-

Kumo: why is he like that?

Kaminari: -shrugs- I just tripped him with a rope and somehow he got tangled up in it, and then he started crying out so I had to muffle him

Kumo: -removes muffle-

Tsuna: HIIEEEE WHERE AM I?

Kumo: -uses a deep, low voice- you're in the dark side :D

Tsuna: WHAT?

Kumo: I was just kidding~! Anyway, you're here to answer some questions I'm gonna ask, so be prepared! But first, I'm gonna ask this Pineapple-fairy something before it's your turn. So, Mukuro,... who's your crush? :D

-crickets chirping-

Kumo: aw come on! It's not a hard question!

Mukuro: -turns pink- umm...

Kumo: go on

Mukuro: I... can't say it |||OTL

Kumo: very well... and here's your punishment -nods head at kaminari-

Kaminari: -smiles a toothful grin- here it is~! -pulls off all of mukuro's clothes and replaces them with a french maid outfit-

Mukuro: -turns red from embarrassment- WHAT! -pulls down the hem of the dress since it's short-

Fangirls: KYAAAAAAAA Mukuro-sama is in a french maid outfit! -takes plenty of pictures and posts them on facebook-

Kumo: -gives a friendly smile but the glint in the eyes betray it- don't forget this! -puts cat ears and a tail on mukuro-

Fangirls: SOO CUUTEEE! -takes more pictures-

Mukuro: I'm leaving... -mist forms-

Kaminari: oh no you're not! -knocks him into the room with Hibari in it- (Kumo: -holding the door wide open but it's still pitch black in there-)

Kumo: -locks the door shut- oh, did I mention that you can never escape from that room unless I open it for you?

-Inside the room-

Hibari: WHAT THE F*** (Kaminari: I bought censors along the way :D)

Mukuro: GAH! DON'T LOOK AT ME!

?: -laughs- more people to play with, huh?

-outside-

-a lot of random noises can be heard-

Kumo: I'm sure they're having fun in there~!

Kaminari: -nods head- I wish I can have fun with them too, but I must do my job here!

Kumo: -goes over to the door- you know I can let you in...

Kaminari: I take that back

Kumo: -smiles and walks back to Tsuna- so,... Tsuna, now it's your turn -giggles-

-To be continued :D-

**Please review~ I would be happy if you did! ^_^**


	3. Tsuna and Gokudera

Tsuna: -gulps- s-so what's gonna be my question?

Kumo: who-

Arashi: HEY THERE CLOUD-FACE!

Kumo: -twitch- only one person would call me that and that's-

Kaminari: tch, arashi...

Arashi: I heard that you were hosting a show, so I decided to drop by, Pumo

Kumo and Kaminari: it's Kumo

Arashi: yea yea, anyway I brought someone along with me just in case you needed another person -tugs on the chain he was holding and throws it across the room-

Gokudera: (is flying across the room with a chain attached to his ankle) Juuuudaaiiiimeeee! I'm flyyyiinng!

-everyone watches Gokudera being awesomely thrown across the room by arashi-

Arashi: -pulls down the chain-

Gokudera: -stops flying in midair and falls down flat on the face- ouch

Arashi: -smirks-

Kaminari: -is speechless-

Kumo: -clears thoat- ahem!

-everyone looks back at Kumo-

Kumo: -smiles- so Tsuna, your question~

Tsuna: -sweatdrops-

Kumo: who do you like more? Kyoko or Haru?

Tsuna: umm... -deep thinking-

Kumo: tell us, tell us! everyone's dying to know!

Tsuna: err... I like them both

Kumo: invalid answer!

Tsuna: b-but I really do!

Kumo: I asked who do you like more! MORE! M-O-R-

Tsuna: I get it, I get it! … that, I cannot answer

Kumo: Kaminari, bring out the punishment~

Kaminari: -grins evilly- sure thing! -unties the ropes on Tsuna and then switches his clothing to a bunny outfit-

Tsuna: HIIIIEEEEE

Gokudera: j-juudaime! I'll save you from embarrassment! -runs over to tsuna-

Arashi: oh no you don't! -pulls the chain-

Gokudera: -trips and does a faceplant-

(Kumo: ooh, that looks as if it hurts a lot...

Kaminari: -nods head- yep...)

Kaminari: -pushes Tsuna into a different room from Hibari and Mukuro's and locks the room-

-everyone can hear Tsuna scream for help and eerie girlish giggles-

Gokudera: I'm sorry juudaime! I have failed you! |||OTL

Kumo: -smiles- Don't worry~ my little sister doesn't do much harm... usually...

Kaminari: -nods head in agreement-

Arashi: so... now what do we do with this little f***er?

Gokudera: -looks around- me?

Arashi: yes you

Gokudera: o_o|||

Kumo: -gives a sadistic grin- something...

-muahahahahaha... to be continued...-

**Please review! ^_^ **


	4. Gokudera and Bianchi

Kumo: first, I will start off with a question. Gokudera, you are highly devoted to Tsuna, right?

Gokudera: yea...

Kumo: you will do anything for Tsuna, right?

Gokudera: yea...

Kumo: ANYTHING? You would even die for him?

Gokudera: yea...

Kumo: marry me and I'll let Tsuna go! :D -wink-

Gokudera: WHAT?

Kumo: so you don't want Tsuna out of there?

Gokudera: of course I do! But HELL NO I'm so NOT marrying you!

Kumo: -giggles- of course not, I was just joking!

Gokudera: …...

Kumo: since that was such an honest answer, I-

Bianchi: ah, Hayato...

Arashi: oh, hi Bianchi!

Kaminari: Bianchi! :D

Kumo: hiya Bianchi-san!

Gokudera: A-ANEKI? -stomach growls- ugh...

Bianchi: I was wondering if any of you want to try my cookies -holds out a plate of poison cookies-

Arashi: I-I'm fine, I just ate not long ago, so I'll try later...

Kaminari: uummm...

Kumo: sure! -takes a cookie and munches on it- tastes great!

-Everyone gapes at Kumo-

Kumo: Gokudera, wanna try one?

Gokudera: n-no thank you -more stomach growling-

Kumo: -takes another cookie- be respectful towards your sister! She made it just for you! -stuffs a cookie into his mouth-

Gokudera: -swallows reluctantly-

Bianchi: so how is it, Hayato?

Gokudera: it... was... -faints-

Kumo: oh, he loved it so much that he fainted. You should make these cookies more often -smiles-

Bianchi: really?

Kumo: -nods head- yep!

Bianchi: okay, I'll make more next time... -leaves while dragging Gokudera along-

Kaminari: -twitch- how did you even eat that?

Kumo: I just did~

Arashi: anyway, I'll go get someone since there's no one here but us... -leaves-

Kaminari: same here! So be right back! -leaves-

Kumo: ah... so lonely here... I think I'll let out Skylark-chan... -walks over, opens the door, and pulls out Hibari-

Hibari: -shivering- That was the most horrifying experience ever

Me: so even the great carnivore of Namimori can become scared, huh? -locks the door shut-

Hibari: shut up

Me: oh yea -turns away from Hibari- please... wear some clothes at least... -cough- your Hibird boxers aren't pleasant to look at all day

Hibari: huh? -looks at himself- o_o

Fangirls: KYAAAAA Hibari-sama is just in his boxers! Hurry take some photos! -lot of photos taken-

Hibari: -angry vein- can I borrow some clothes, Kumo?

Kumo: yea -tosses him a purple dress-

Hibari: ...is there anything else?

Kumo: -holds up a hibird costume-

Hibari: -growls- fine, I'll wear that! -snatches the costume and puts it on-

Kumo: -giggles- I hate to say, but you look really good in that costume, you know

Hibari: hn

Arashi and Kaminari: We're back! -sees Hibari in a Hibird costume-

Arashi: holy sh*t

Kaminari: WOA!

Kumo: -smirks- yep, that's Hibari~

-To be continued \(^o^)/-

**Who wants to nkow how Hibird is doing? :3**


	5. Ryohei and Yamamoto

Arashi and Kaminari: -trying to stifle laughs-

Kumo: so who did you bring back?

Arashi: the "TO THE EXTREME" guy

Ryohei: It's Ryohei TO THE EXTREME!

Kaminari: I brought Yamamoto

Kumo: great! Anyway, let me start with Ryohei. So, boxing is your everything, right?

Ryohei: that's right!

Kumo: -smiles- would you rather tell Kyoko that the fights you were in were not boxing tournaments or challenges but they were mafia battles and make her worry, or would you quit boxing for good?

Ryohei: hmmm... let me think... -is deep in thought-

Kaminari: oohh tough question~

Arashi: it's not tough at all!

Kaminari: I was sarcastic, baka!

Arashi: you're the baka!

-sissy fight :D-

Kumo: enough! Didn't I say that no fighting is allowed?

-Arashi and Kaminari stops in mid-battle and nods their heads-

Kumo: then don't fight, idiots!

Arashi: don't call me an idiot, f***ing cloud face!

Kaminari: she... called me an idiot... -dumbstruck-

Arashi: cuz you are one!

Kaminari: what did you say, hot-head?

-electricity buzzes between them-

Kumo: -angry vein- ENOUGH! -slams the table next to her- YOU GUYS ARE PISSING ME OFF RIGHT NOW!

Arashi and Kaminari: -jumps in surprise- Kumo is never this angry before... scary

Kumo: YOU GUYS ARE GETTING DETENTION! -points to an empty, creepy, eerie room-

Arashi and Kaminari: -gulps- b-but

Kumo: NO BUTS!

-Arashi and Kaminari walks into the room sadly-

Kumo: -locks the door shut- anyway -smiles- what's your answer, Ryohei?

Ryohei: I would tell Kyoko the truth... TO THE EXTREME!

Kumo: and why do you keep adding "to the extreme" at the end of almost every sentence you say?

Ryohei: CUZ IT'S AWESOME TO THE EXTREME!

Kumo: -twitch- alright... now Yamamoto, it's your turn -evil glint in the eye- I have a nice treat for you if you don't answer honestly -grins maliciously-

Yamamoto: -laughs- go ahead!

Kumo: hm~ Are you always so oblivious?

Yamamoto: -smiles cheerfully- now what do you mean by that?

Kumo: you always think that the "games" Reborn sets up are just harmless games

Yamamoto: cuz they are harmless games!

Kumo: but they're real and they caused real damage. Remember when you hit that spiked ball and it went right through the baseball field's wall?

Yamamoto: -laughs- yea, that was a cool trick! That infant is full of surprises!

Kumo: -twitch- it was real...

Yamamoto: no it wasn't! I'm sure it was just an illusion he set up!

Kumo: this is real right? -shows a cage full of carnivorous animals ready to feed-

Yamamoto: yea, those are just harmless animals~!

Kumo: really now? -smiles evilly- get in, then!

Yamamoto: are you always this evil?

Kumo: oh, but I thought you said those are just harmless animals!

Yamamoto: exactly! Why did you cage them up?

Kumo: -still smiling- just get in

Yamamoto: not unless you free those poor, cute creatures!

Kumo: -pouts- no -pulls on a rope hanging from the ceiling-

-BAM a trap door beneath Yamamoto opened and he fell through-

Kumo: oh, Ryohei will join you so he can have fun too~

-BAM a trap door beneath Ryohei opened and he fell through-

Kumo: there are plenty of other "poor, cute, harmless creatures" down there, so enjoy playing with them~! oh yea, speaking of poor, cute, harmless creatures... -reaches into her pocket to pull out Hibird-

Hibird: Hibari! Hibari!

Hibari: -gasps- Hibird you're alright!

Kumo: of course he is, it's not like I killed him or something (-cough-)

Hibird: Kumo is the best! Kumo is the best!

Hibari: -twitch- what did you teach him?

Kumo: oh, nothing much~ I just taught him how to call me and maybe a few songs here and there

Hibari: but you were hosting this show...

Kumo: who says I can't while hosting a show? -grins- setting up traps and hosting aren't the only things I know~

Ame: -appears- Kumo~! You said you needed help right?

Hibari: who is she?

Kumo: -smiles- my friend

Ame: her loyal servant!

Kumo: sshhhh don't tell anyone!

Ame: -giggles- sorry

Hibari: how did you contact her, anyway?

Ame: she's psychic~

Hibari: ... -crickets chirping-

Kumo: awww now you spilled the beans!

Ame: -pouts- i didn't spill the beans! there aren't any beans around here in the first place!

Kumo: ...

Hibari: so that's how you taught Hibird while hosting a show?

Kumo: aren't I amazing? :D

Hibari: no

Ame: -whacks him on the head- don't disrespect Kumo!

Kumo: -clears throat- anyway, I need more people to "interview" so would you go fetch one, Ame?

Ame: sure thing! -skips out of the room while humming-

Hibari: -shivers- that is a VERY familiar tune she's humming...

Kumo: -ignores Hibari's comment- oh Hibird, can you go give deliver this note? -holds out a note-

Hibird: -takes the note and flies away-

Kumo: muahahahahaha... this is going to be fun...

Hibari: who's the note for anyway?

Kumo: -ignores hibari while planning something in her head-

Hibari: -growls- you dare ignore me

Kumo: Hibari, can you give me a high five?

Hibari: what for?

Kumo: just do it

Hibari: ummm okay... -high fives Kumo-

Kumo: -misses and hits Hibari's face HARD- oops, my hand slipped! -smiles- (in her head: baaakaaa!)

Hibari: -twitch- you dare make a fool of me... -whips out his tonfa-

Kumo: you know, I can always send you back into that room

-they both hear agonizing cries come from the room-

Kumo: -smiles- you know, it sounds really inviting in there...

Hibari: -shivers- no thanks... -puts his tonfa away-

Kumo: good boy! -pats Hibari on the head- now, we just wait fo Ame and Hibird to come back...

-To be continued ^w^-


	6. Squalo and Bel

Ame: I'm back!

Kumo: that was fast... so who did you bring?

Ame: Lambo

Kumo: -pales- ah...

Ame: what's the matter? He's not good enough?

Lambo: of course lambo is good enough! Lambo is the best one here!

Kumo: -whispers to Ame-

Ame: oh, I see... okay then -opens the door to the room where Tsuna is in and throws lambo in there-

Kumo: -locks the door shut- hmm... Hibird should be back any minute now...

Squalo: VOOOIIII! WHAT IS YOUR REASON FOR CALLING US HERE?

Bel: ushishishi~ it's cuz she wants to talk to me, the prince

Kumo: dude, Squalo! No need to be so annoyingly loud! And Bel, don't be so arrogant

Hibird: Hibari! Hibari! -perches itself on top of hibari's head-

Hibari: so, the knife-boy is here huh? I still have unfinished business with him... -whips out his tonfa and charges at Bel-

Bel: bring it! -takes out his knives and throws it at Hibari-

Kumo: hold it! -steps between them-

-Knives stab into Kumo's back and Hibari just stops right in front of her-

Kumo: I said, NO FIGHTING IN HERE!

Bel: ushishishi~

Hibari: hn -goes back to his seat and sits down-

Kumo: Bel, this is your first warning! And Hibari, you started it and I have told you countless times that fighting isn't allowed! So get back in that room -opens the door, shoves Hibari in there, pulls out Mukuro, and locks the door shut-

Mukuro: -is shivering- please don't put me in there again

Kumo: just as I told Hibari, if you behave, then I won't

Mukuro: -nods-

Kumo: and -cough- please put on some clothes as well... it's not pleasant to stare at your pineapple boxers

Bel and Squalo: -snickering-

Mukuro: -turns red- you have any clothes to spare?

Kumo: -hands him his regular clothes- Since you don't annoy me like Hibari, I got Ame to bring me clothes from your closet (does he even have a closet?)

Mukuro: -quickly puts on his clothing- thanks...

Kumo: sit over there and don't bother me unless I ask you to, okay?

Mukuro: -walks over and sits down- kufufu~ sure thing

Kumo: -turns to Squalo- let me start with you, Squa-chan~ do you dislike Xanxus?

Squalo: ...no

Kumo: really? But he gives you sooo much stress! Throwing things at you, pouring stuff on your head, pulling your hair, doesn't that get on your nerves?

Squalo: well...yea, it gets on my nerves, but I won't dislike him for those things. Remember that I even vowed not to cut my hair until he becomes the tenth Vongola boss?

Kumo: how touching... for that, I shall give you a life-sized talking Domo!

Squalo: w-what is that?

Kumo: here! -pulls down a sheet covering Domo-

Squalo: ...that... is a strange looking creature...

Domo: -walks up to Squalo- I can voi like big bro too! VOOOIIIII!

Squalo: is there an off switch for this?

Kumo: what do you mean off switch? Domo is a living thing!

Domo: -hugs squalo- VOOOOOIIIII

Squalo: it's annoying

Kumo: great cuz that's how I feel when you keep shouting voi

Squalo: … -domo is munching on the top of squalo's head-

Kumo: -smiles and shoves them both into another room (how many rooms are there?) and locks them in there- have fun!

Ame: amazing... you still don't notice the knives, Kumo?

-animated arrows point at the knives sticking out of Kumo's back-

Kumo: -smiles- now what ever are you talking about? -pulls out the knives and throws them at Mukuro in one swift move-

Mukuro: huh? -dodges them-

Bel: -gives a huge smile- so is it my turn yet, peasant?

Kumo: -gives back an evil grin- yes it is, my prince

-To be continued :D-


	7. Lussuria, Leviathan, and Xanxus

Kumo: so, Bel, do you like Fran?

Bel: ushishishi~ of course not

Kumo: but you seem to be so fond of him!

Bel: I was never fond of him

Kumo: oh come on! -points to a picture- you even made this face at him that looks as if you were about to rape him!

Bel: …

Kumo: even the fangirls think B26 is awesome!

Fangirls: KYAAAAA Belphegor and Fran is and awesome pairing~!

Mukuro: HEY BUT THAT'S MY APPRENTICE!

Kumo: -smirks- jealous? -wiggles eyebrows-

Mukuro: …

Kumo: hmm... seems as if Bel has a rival for Fran's attention and love~

Bel: I'm not a fan of yaoi

Mukuro: I don't have a crush on Fran

Kumo: blah blah blah blah, no excuses :P watever I say, you have to follow along!

Bel: ushishishi~ but I'm a prince, and princes don't follow along to what peasants have to say

Kumo: shut your trap! -smiles- or... -opens a door to another creepy room- you want to stay in there...

Bel: I'll stay in there rather than shut my trap~ anyway, it's not that scary in there

Kumo: oh? Is that so? Alright! -pushes Bel into that room and locks it shut-

Mukuro: when are you going to reveal what's in those rooms?

Kumo: a magician never reveals their secrets now do they? -gives off an eerie aura-

Mukuro: kufufu~ guess not

Kumo: but I'll tell sooner or later...

-can hear Bel ushishishi-ing and knife-throwing and watnot-

Kumo: okay, so far, he's the only one not afraid of what's in the rooms

-can hear Hibari cussing and groaning and a lot of movement go on-

Kumo: are those groans in pain or in pleasure?

Mukuro: I ain't telling

-can hear Tsuna and Kumo's sister talking about tea-parties and dolls while Lambo was talking about cake-

Kumo: I hope she didn't brainwash him...

-can hear Squalo and Domo voi-ing at each other-

Kumo: see? They're really similar, so they must be brothers! Anyway-

Mukuro: aren't you going to tell what's going on with Yamamoto and Ryohei?

Kumo: no need, they're just fighting a lot of monsters and animals and so on

Mukuro: I see...

Ame: look who I brought!

Lussuria: why helloooo~ Kumo -sparkly pink aura-

Kumo: -shivers- please don't greet me like that. It's just... I don't even...

Leviathan: I-I'm sorry Boss! I didn't mean to!

Xanxus: shut up, trash! I don't need to listen to your excuses!

Kumo: so you brought three people instead...

Ame: mhmm!

Kumo: that's... nice... so, I shall start with... -drum roll- Leviathan!

Leviathan: huh?

Kumo: so, you say you would kill anyone no matter who it is? Even if it's a child?

Leviathan: yes

Kumo: so, if Xanxus' child were to kill your child, will you kill his child to prevent your own child's death? (Mukuro: da f***! what kind of question is that?)

Leviathan: I... Xanxus wouldn't allow his son to do that!

Kumo: but what if he did

Leviathan: uuhh... I... would... um...

Kumo: you know what? I don't give a sh*t about this question! It's not like you two will have children anyway!

Everyone: -gasps- harsh comment... did you hear Kumo curse for the first time? -murmurs-

Leviathan and Xanxus: …

Kumo: -shoves Leviathan and Xanxus into the room where Squalo and Domo is in-

Squalo: VOOOIII what are you doing in here, Boss?

Xanxus: that doesn't matter, you scum -pulls onto Squalo's hair-

Squalo: ow ow ow ow ow!

Leviathan: -waves at Domo- why hello interesting creature!

Domo: -stares at Leviathan- VOOOIIII

Leviathan: look, Squalo! He vois like you!

Kumo: … -locks the door shut-

Ame: should I go get more people?

Kumo: -nods- it'll take you a while though...

Ame: it doesn't matter! Anything for Kumo is fine!

Kumo: anything? -evil glint in the eye-

Ame: mhmm!

Kumo: alright, just go get more people first

Ame: alright! -leaves happily-

Kumo: anyway lussuria, it's your turn~

-To be continued :D-


	8. Kumo and Mukuro Use a Laptop

Kumo: Lussuria, I heard that you act as the "nanny" of the Varia.

Lussuria: yep! I enjoy taking care of family matters that goes on in our little home~ (Kumo: -cough- more like a big mansion/castle)

Kumo: how would you feel if you were actually their mother?

Lussuria: -happy tears form in his eyes- I'd be proud!

Kumo: -picks up a bottle of fake tears- sempai... why do you have this?

Lussuria: -snatches it back- no reason~

Kumo: sempai... are you... in a host club? (Kumo watched Ouran High a few days ago)

-crickets chirping-

Lussuria: of course not!

Kumo: but then why do you have that bottle of fake tears?

Lussuria: I already told you, I have no reason!

Kumo: -smiles- then I have no reason to leave you out here -shoves Lussuria into the room where the rest of the Varia (except Bel) are in and locks the door shut- now, I shall wait for Ame to come back... -whips out a laptop and goes to Youtube-

Mukuro: -watches in interest- so what are you going to watch?

Kumo: -smirks- this~

Video:

Mukuro: -in a British accent- Good afternoon, pineapples! Isn't it great that we contain only natural colors and natural flavors?

Byakuran: -says gibberish-

Mukuro: I beg your pardon?

Byakuran: -says gibberish-

Mukuro: I apologize, I don't speak pineapple

Byakuran: -says gibberish and then the word "natural"-

Mukuro: I got the word natural, but the rest was unclear.

Byakuran: -several voices talking together full of gibberish-

Mukuro: do any of you speak English?

Byakuran: -the talking stops and he blinks with a smile-

-end of video-

Kumo: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! (here's the link if you wanna watch it! youtube watch?v=qpW1Z4dkmsM)

Mukuro: -twitch- what kind of joke is this?

Kumo: -smiles- I don't know, but it was funny~ let's watch another video! hm... Hibari's confusing "kamikorosu"? Let's see~ -clicks on the video-

Video:

Hibari: -holding up his tonfa- Kimi kara kamikorosu

-end of video-

Kumo: ...-reads comments- a good tongue twister? Lemme try! Kimi kara kamikorosu kimi kara kamikorosu kimi kara karikorosu dhsakjhfuioas dang it!

Mukuro: kufufu~ that seems fun

Kumo: you try it

Mukuro: no

Kumo: fine -looks for another video- Hibari pokes squalo... watched that already. Hibari's drunken hedgehog... watched that already. Hibari's kamikorosu episode '1'-102... I'm not wasting my time to watch that. Xanxus's epic fail? Oohh I'd love to watch that -clicks on video-

Video:

-skips all the useless stuff and gets to the point when Xanxus fails-

Xanxus: I will kill him (Tsuna)! -pulls out nothing but his hands seem as if they're holding his guns-

Squalo: Damn, he don't have the guns!

-a curtain surrounds Xanxus-

Squalo: Don't look! Forget it! -points a sword at Tsuna-

Tsuna: o-okay... but where did you get the curtain?

Reborn: Xanxus is disqualified. With the score 3:2, Tsuna's team wins.

-video pauses-

Kumo: hmm... -looks at comments- yep, Varia should've gotten the point for Squalo's extra talent of letting a curtain appear out of nowhere -nods- I totally agree with that comment. (link: watch?v=r3oKNoUaeGA&feature=related ) anyway... -looks for more videos to watch-

Mukuro: that was... an actual epic fail... -was actually expecting Varia quality which = no fail-

Kumo: oohh Bel abusing Fran? Lemme see! -clicks on video-

Video:

(you know what? I'm just gonna give the link |||OTL youtube watch?v=ZmPNMemZwTM&feature=related )

-end of video-

Mukuro: H-he was abusing my poor apprentice! -goes over to the corner and just crouches down over there with a gloomy aura-

Kumo: ara? So you really do care about him!

Mukuro: -no response-

Kumo: H-hey! Stop growing mushrooms in someone else's place!

Mukuro: -gloomy-

Kumo: -twitch- this is the first time I've seen him like this... it reminds me of... -lightbulb- TAMAKI FROM OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB! (=.= Kumo... you seriously watched too much now)

Mukuro: …

Kumo: oh yea, my friend showed me this hilarious website! It's called hibariapp. com~

Mukuro: -walks back over to Kumo- kufufu~ hibariapp you say?

Kumo: -nods- look! It even has a pretty skylark as the icon!

Mukuro: -looks at the website in interest-

Kumo: -scrolls down- Block keywords, mute users (lol), inline saved search, inline images, … "Hibari is an elegant Mac Twitter app that blocks annoyances and reveals gems" AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mukuro: interesting...

Kumo: -starts laughing like crazy- "Love what you see? Buy Hibari now for just $10!" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (-sighs- sometimes Kumo has a dirty mind)

Mukuro: really? -whips out 10 bucks- can I buy him?

Kumo: -eye roll- no, cuz I ain't letting you waste 10 bucks on an app that you won't even use

Mukuro: awww... fine...

Ame: I'm back~!

Kumo: great! Did you bring them all?

Ame: -shakes head- no, only two since you just want to interview two at a time.

Kumo: oh yea... anyway, which two did you bring?

Ame: -smiles- come on out here guys!

-I shall reveal who it is in the next chapter :D-

**oh yea, check this part of the website as well: hibari. github hibari-doc/ **


	9. Giotto, Alaude, and Daemon

Giotto: Hi kumo!

Alaude: …

Kumo: oh, hi Giotto, hi Alaude!

Daemon: nufufu~ hi Kumo!

Kumo: Ame... I thought you said you brought only two...

Ame: I guess he followed us -smiles-

Mukuro: kufufu~ nice to see you again, D-spade.

Daemon: -smiles- same here, Mukuro

Kumo: oh yea! Now we have two pineappleheads!

Daemon and Mukuro: -twitch- …

Kumo: hmm... I think I'll start with Alaude~

Alaude: …

Kumo: so how does it feel to be a look-alike of Hibari?

Alaude: …

Kumo: come on! Say something at least!

Alaude: …

Giotto: ah, he's in a bad mood right now...

Kumo: why?

Giotto: something about interrupting him, but I'm not sure what

Kumo: -lightbulb- you know what? Why won't you join Hibari in there? -pushes Alaude into the room and locks the door shut-

-Inside the room-

Hibari: Alaude! What are you doing in here?

Alaude: hi Hibari...

?: -laughs- great... I have a new toy to play with!

Alaude: what's that?

Hibari: -shivers- you don't need to know...

-outside-

Kumo: now, it's time for D-spade's and Mukuro's turn!

Mukuro: but I had my turn already...

Kumo: you get another turn! So, who's laugh is better to use? Nufufu or kufufu?

Daemon: of course it's nufufu~

Mukuro: no, it's kufufu~

Daemon: it's nufufu~ anyway, I used it a long time ago, way before you!

Mukuro: it's kufufu~ and modern is always better than the old stuff

Daemon: nufufu~

Mukuro: kufufu~

Daemon: nufufufu~

Mukuro: kufufufu~

Daemon: NUFUFUFUFUFU~

Mukuro: KUFUFUFUFUFU~

Daemon: NUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU FU~

Mukuro: KUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU FU~

Daemon: nu... fu... fu? -goes to the corner where Mukuro was at and is crying-

Mukuro: YEA I WIN!

Kumo: awww... now Daemon is sad... -pats Daemon's shoulder- don't worry... I'll deal with that stupid pineapple later... -glares at Mukuro-

Mukuro: who knew he was a crybaby?

Kumo: -devil aura-

Mukuro: okay I'm sorry I'm sorry!

Kumo: sorry isn't enough... you shall receive punishment... -takes out a whip- ne, mukuro? -evil gleam in the eye-

Mukuro: kufufu~ like that'll hurt me!

-later-

Kumo: -is chasing mukuro while snapping the whip to the floor near him-

Mukuro: stop torturing me! -got whipped on the butt- OW!

Kumo: muahahaha that's what you get for making Daemon cry!

-after a while-

Mukuro: -is really bruised and tired-

Kumo: -is tired-

Ame, Daemon, Giotto: -is playing goldfish-

Kumo: -sighs- now that I finished punishing Mukuro, it's Giotto's turn!

Giotto: -stops playing- hm?

Kumo: so what would you say if Tsuna was in love with Hibari and Mukuro?

Giotto: -drops the cards he was holding-

Mukuro: what?

Giotto: I... will punish them!

Kumo: really?

Giotto: -dramatic pose- my poor Tsuna! Hibari and mukuro is not allowed to take away his innocence!

Kumo: -twitch- I never knew Giotto could be this dramatic... I never even knew he was dramatic in the first place!

Giotto: -is still blabbering- I'll kill them if they do anything inappropriate to you!

Kumo: what if Alaude is included in this?

Giotto: I... would fire him

Kumo: -gasps- no way! You can't do that!

Giotto: if it's for Tsuna then I will!

Kumo: …okay, I think I heard enough... -shoves Giotto into the room where Tsuna is in and locks the door-

-Inside-

Kumo's little sister: yay! More people to play teatime with!

Tsuna: HIIIEEEE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Giotto: oh, Tsuna! I'm so glad you're okay! -hugs Tsuna-

Tsuna: …

-Outside-

Kumo: I wonder what happened that made Giotto all dramatic and watnot...

-Everyone stares at Kumo-

Kumo: what? I just asked him some questions!

Everyone: …

Kumo: -cough- anyway, Ame, I want you to bring the rest of Giotto's gaurdians.

Ame: sure thing! -leaves-

Kumo: -turns to Daemon and Mukuro- now what should I do with you two

Daemon and Mukuro: nufufu~/kufufu~ how am I supposed to know?

Kumo: … -sighs- alright -CRACK- whipping it is -gives an evil grin-

Daemon and Mukuro: o_o||| -starts running-

Kumo: muahahahahaha -chases them-

-To be continued :D-


	10. G, Knuckle, Lampo, and Asari

Ame: I'm ba- what happened?

Daemon and Mukuro: -is tied up and muffled-

Kumo: -is on the laptop posting pictures- oh, they tripped over my whip and then got tied up in it. Then, they started to become noisy so I muffled them.

Ame: ...okay. Anyway, I brought over the rest of them just as you told me~

Kumo: great.

G., Knuckle, Lampo, and Asari: hi Kumo

Kumo: hi guys! So I think I'll start with... Lampo! So is it true that you really dislike little kids?

Lampo: yes, especially the snotty ones like Lambo.

Kumo: oh? But you are just like Lambo~ even your names are similar!

Lampo: he is nothing like me. I am way better than that lazy, snotty little cow boy.

Kumo: really? But you're lazy and snotty as well!

Lampo: how dare you call me lazy and snotty! I am the son of the lord and the first generation Thunder Vongola Guardian!

Kumo: see? Snotty.

Daemon and Mukuro: -nods in agreement-

Kumo: even D-spade and Mukuro agree!

Lampo: hmph!

Kumo: anyway, future Lambo seems to behave a lot better than you. Especially the one from twenty years later~

Lampo: but I am still stronger than that useless brat!

Kumo: -yawns- I find that you're the brat right now.

Lampo: …

Kumo: I'm getting tired with you. -pushes him into the room where Tsuna is in and locks the door shut- hmmm... Asari and Knuckle. -blunt- I find that both of you will bore me as well. -snaps fingers-

Asari and Knuckle: -falls through the trap door-

Kumo: you guys are joining Yamamoto and Ryohei down there~ now all we have left is G... Ame bring that marshmallow freak over here.

Ame: sure thing! -leaves-

Kumo: so, G., nice pink hair you got today.

G.: it's not pink!

Kumo: yes it is! It's so pink that I think it would taste like strawberries!

G.: …

Kumo: -goes over to G. and bites onto his hair-

G.: what the h*ll are you doing! That's disgusting! -pushes kumo away-

Kumo: it tastes like strawberries! -turns to Daemon and Mukuro- wanna try?

Daemon and Mukuro: -crickets chirping-

G.: -twitch-

Kumo: hey maybe your whole body tastes like strawberry! Can I try?

G.: ...no

Kumo: oh come on! Just let me lick your hand and see if your whole body really does taste good!

G.: that's just plain wrong.

Ame: Omata! (omata means crotch or groin in some cases)

Everyone: -freezes-

Ame: Omata Kumo!

Kumo: -twitch-

Daemon and Mukuro: -is laughing through the mufflers-

G.: KAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ame: what's so funny? I just said omata, Kumo.

Kumo: -has nothing to say-

G.: KAHAHAHAHA! -is tearing up from laughter- don't you mean omatase? (omatase: I've kept you waiting)

Ame: oops, sorry! But I still don't get what's so funny...

Kumo: haven't I taught you anything, Ame? I've repeated countless times that omata means music note and omatase means "I've kept you waiting"!

Ame: ah, sorry... I still get those mixed up...

Kumo: and what's so funny, G, Daemon, Mukuro?

G.: -stops laughing- wait omata means music note?

Daemon and Mukuro: …

Kumo: yea, it means music note. What else did you think it meant? -evil gleam in her eye- unless you're really that immature...

G., Daemon, and Mukuro: -speechless-

Kumo: if you want to be like that... -opens the door to where Hibari is- I'd be happy to send you in there...

G., Daemon, and Mukuro: -has nothing to say-

Kumo: I take that as a yes, then. -shoves all three of them into the room and locks the door- Daemon and Mukuro will have to deal with bondage since they're wrapped up in my whip~

Ame: Kumo! I brought him over!

Kumo: great. He shall be my last victim...

-NYOOOO THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE LAST? D:-

Kumo: yes because I'm getting really tired here and I need a break.

-NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!-


	11. Byakuran

Kumo: -sighs- better make the best of this last interview... so Bya-kun, why are you such a marshmallow freak?

Byakuran: -smiles- well, they're soft and sweet and munchy and-

Kumo: okay okay. So what do you think of the pairing 10069/69100?

Byakuran: I think it's perfectly fine.

Kumo: -gasps- okay, read this doujin -hands Byakuran a doujinshi-

Byakuran: -turns red as he reads it- w-what is this?

Kumo: a doujinshi! It's epic you know?

Byakuran: why am I making out with Mukuro?

Kumo: because you approved of the pairing and you love Mukuro :D

Byakuran: but I thought the pairing just means to spend a lot of time with that person and go out and have fun

Kumo: you look as if you're having fun in this doujin and you're spending a lot of time making out with that pineapplehead

Byakuran: but I never did this in real life D:

Kumo: have you forgotten about parallel worlds?

Byakuran: oh yea... -gives back the doujin to Kumo- I don't want to continue reading it. It's too... umm... detailed...

Kumo: no, continue reading it. You still didn't get to the good part yet.

Byakuran: I don't want to...

Kumo: -pouts- too bad! -takes out a tv and turns it on- here you can watch it instead. -tv starts playing the part when Byakuran ***** Mukuro-

Byakuran: -shuts eyes- I'm not watching it!

Kumo: -turns the volume really high that you can hear what's going on even if you're a mile away-

Everyone in the rooms: -stops what they're doing- what the heck is going on outside?

Domo: VOOIIII SOMEONE'S HAVING S*X!

Everyone in the rooms: -crickets chirping-

Byakuran: -covers his ears- it's too loud! -smashes the tv-

Kumo: =A= too bad. The tv is cannot be destroyed. I made it myself~

Byakuran: oh come on! I'll read it I'll read it! Just turn off the tv!

Kumo: -hands over the book to Byakuran and turns off the tv-

Byakuran: -pretends to read it-

Kumo: no pretending

Byakuran: fine... -reluctantly reads it-

Ame: since the show will end soon, when will you let everyone out?

Kumo: now should I?

Ame: -nods-

Kumo: -sighs- alright... I'll let them out after Byakuran finishes the doujin

Ame: o_o the doujin is 1000 pages long though...

Kumo: -grins- exactly~ so it might be a while until they can get out.

Ame: anyway, who's in the rooms?

Kumo: well you know, one room has my sister in it... the room Squalo and Domo is in is just an empty creepy room... you already now Yamamoto and them are in a huge room full of monsters and ferocious animals... the room Bel is in has a monster in it... well that's all I'm revealing~

Ame: awwww... you just told us what we already know!

Kumo: exactly.

Byakuran: -finishes reading- I'm done!

Kumo: well that was fast...

Byakuran: -smiles- now can you let those suffering people out?

Kumo: hmmmm...

Ame: please!

Kumo: -is in deep thought-

-Everyone anticipates in her decision making-

Kumo: fine -snaps fingers-

-POOF everyone appears in front of Kumo-

Kumo: happy now?

Ame: -nods- yep!

Everyone: now we make Kumo pay... -glares at her-

Kumo: -smiles- I can put you people back into the rooms you know~

Everyone: nevermind... we're gonna go home. Bye Kumo!

Kumo: -waves goodbye- come back next time!

Everyone: NO WAY!

Kumo: -snickers- just kidding~ anyway, that's all for the Kumo Show! Thanks for watching! (or reading :D)

-The End! Hope you enjoyed!-


	12. The Kumo Show 2 Trailer

Arashi and Kaminari: NO WAY! YOUR COUSIN IS COMING OVER?

Kumo: yes. you have a problem with that?

Arashi: n-no...

Kaminari: but are you really sure about letting her host the show with you?

Kumo: -smirks- why yes, of course

Kaminari: -gulps- a-are you really REALLY sure?

Kumo: yes.

Arashi: oh god...

Kaminari: -faints-

Kumo: is she really that horrible?

Arashi: of course she is, you stupid cloud!

Kumo: -murderous aura- What. Did. You. Call. Me?

Arashi: I called you a stupid cloud, you cloud face! Anyway, she's a monster! She's bossy! She's cruel! She's-

Kumo: -whacks Arashi on the head- don't you dare say such things about her! Or else... -pulls out a knife and points it in front of his face-

Arashi: -gulps- on second thought, she's awesome...

Kumo: -puts away the knife- oh yea, have you seen Ame?

Arashi: uhhh... she said that she had some things to take care of so she's not gonna be here for a while... -gives a nervous smile-

Kumo: -narrows eyes at him- oh really?

Arashi: yes...

Kumo: -stares at him- ...

Arashi: w-what?

Kumo: … alright... I'll believe you (lies... tsk tsk...)

Arashi: o_o okay

?: Hiii guys~~~!

Kaminari: -snaps awake- oh no! She's here! -hides behind Arashi-

Arashi: dude, don't hide behind me!

Kumo: -smiles- nice to see you again... Kuro...

**\(^o^)/ I finally decided to continue this! Anyway, I will create a seperate story for The Kumo Show 2, so please visit my profile for it!**


End file.
